• Michele Wright-REALTOR®

Ghosting...



ghost·ing /ˈɡōstiNG/ Learn to pronounce noun​​ the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.




In this modern age of technology, it is very likely that you have been the recipient (or deliverer) of ghosting. Most people associate this with online dating or purging of friends.... however, real estate is a type of relationship that, especially in recent months, has seen an uptick in ghosting. (Note: I'm not speaking of instances where it takes you a few hours to respond, but those instances where at different points in a relationship -lender prequals, showings, mid contract negotiation-- when the deliverer of ghosting appears to have ceased to exist. Ie. maybe its now been three months since your last response. ) It's the worst! It's like the new version of the Silent Treatment. So to help you overcome your fears (and hopefully help you not "ghost" the agents speaking to you), I've compiled a quick list of Do's and Don't's.  1. Be transparent! Understand that your agent is, at the barebones, in sales. Rejection is common, and most of us can handle the disappointment. Ghosting is not data that we can process efficiently. Did they get busy with life? Did their situation/goals change? Did they simply change their mind? Did they choose a different agent?  With ghosting, we just don't know. Be kind with our time and just be transparent. Will it sting when you tell us you chose a friend that's an agent? Of course, but, most of us would rather you tell us, then we spend time and money on you in our database trying to reach out to you. (The worst is when you've worked with someone for months on credit repair, shown them a dozen homes, referred lenders and the like, to have you ghost..... ) Your transparency saves us frustration down the road, and saves you from the awkward missed calls/emails/texts.... 2. Build a Relationship. Finding a home is a long term investment AND a long term relationship. Just because your situation/finances/life stage changed unexpectedly, doesn't mean you won't want to use the agent in the future. (OR that a friend or family member won't be a great fit? #welovereferrals). I'm in it for the long haul (as are many agents). Maybe we looked at some homes and you realized you prefer a higher price point than your current finances allow- THAT's OKAY! Just let me know, and moving forward, I won't bombard you with messages/emails/calls, other than a monthly check in, until you are ready. (and I might have referrals of professionals to help you get to your goals faster!) Worried it might take you another year? No sweat- tell me! In my personal home search, it took us two years to get my finances where I wanted them for the home I wanted, and then several months of searching to find the "right" one. Having that experience, makes me very understanding of the time involved to getting you to the end goal: home ownership.  3. Time for a new agent. Okay, so this is sometimes the hardest. Maybe the agent you've been working with prefers texts to calls (I'm 100% guilty of this) and you prefer a phone call ("old school") for all of your interactions, or maybe the agent just isn't a great fit for you for whatever reason. I refer back to Number 1. Be TRANSPARENT. Have that hard conversation with your agent. There is a chance that they need a wakeup call to adjust better to your needs, or maybe they've been feeling it to, and might even have a referral of an agent that would be your cinderella shoe fit.  For example, -I have referred out clients that prefer speaking in their native language that I'm not proficient in enough to counsel them through this massive transaction,  -I have referred out clients that ended up choosing a locale that was almost 2 hours away because of the metroplex's traffic... I just wasn't able to serve them properly, and I knew it. Bottom line, it's ok. I would much rather refer out a client to better serve their needs than to muddle on and end up with both of us dissatisfied with the transaction or in the worst case, you not end up with your dream home.  This process is stressful enough without adding together two non-meshing people. Ghosting. Just don't do it. :) 

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